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INQUIRY INTO GORILLA’S ‘SWALLOWING’ OF N6.8 MILLION IN KANO STATE: A CLEAR CASE OF “ALI YA GAN ALI”

Nigeria is a very interesting and strange country where anything and everything can happen. In Nigeria, NEPA office dey use generators every day. In Nigeria, it is commonplace to see criminals join an angry crowd to stone a petty thief who was caught stealing a phone from someone’s handbag. Here, it is commonplace to see individuals publicly shaming others for stuffs they also indulge in, even if they have been accused of the same thing in the past.

Since Nigeria was created, it is no news that human beings have consistently stolen public (and private) monies/funds. What is now news is that since last year, ‘animals’ have joined human beings in the looting of public (and private funds) in the country. Recall that in February 2018, one Philomona Chieshe ‘accused’ a snake of swallowing N36million from the sales of scratch cards in JAMB office in Benue State – and three days ago, it was reported that a gorilla in a zoo in Kano State, ‘swallowed’ N6.8million. According to the Finance Officer of the Kano Zoological Gardens, the gorilla “sneaked into their office” and carted away the money BEFORE SWALLOWING IT. Choi!!!

Let me help you paint the scene that day: I imagine that the adult gorrila, obviously hungry and looking for food to eat, sneaked into their Cash Office, sped off with the bag/container of money and mistaking it for food, swallowed it in one fell swoop and drank water for digestion. For eating a ‘meal’ that costs N6.8million in a country recognized as the international poverty capital, this gorilla is the richest VIA (very important animal) in Kano State. The amount (N6.8 million) is the zoo’s income from the recently celebrated Sallah festivities in the state. To unravel the case, 10 members of staff and the security man on duty on the day have been arrested pending investigation.

And boy, the Kano State governor; himself an accused dollar bribe collector, has called for probe/inquiry into the matter. Imagine oh! For me, this is a clear case of “Ali ya gan Ali” since it takes a thief to identify the footsteps of another thief on a rock. How can a man who still has a corruption case hanging on his neck be the umpire/conscience in a case where he has no integrity to look into? Well, maybe he has – because while he is human, the accused is an ‘animal’; a gorilla. But again, evolution scientists tell us that Africans originated from gorillas, yeah? So we may yet be dealing with the same specie of thieves in Kano State.

This case is another ready evidence that this government and Nigeria is losing the fight against corruption seeing that ‘animals’ have now joined human beings in the art and science of stealing public (and private) funds. And as with everything else, this trend/growing tradition of ‘animals’ thieving our monies would continue and then the government would set up an agency that specializes in investigating, arresting and prosecuting ‘animals’ stealing public (and private) funds, since the EFCC was not established to combat economic and financial crimes committed by animals.

Nawa for Nigeria, Nigerians and ‘animals’.

© Chad Otsapa