Diary Of A Law-Loving Lawyer – Barrister Rose Ain’t No Rose! By Pikino Ahrey

       

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I didn’t get to work on time. Last night I slept late and woke up late like a log. While stumbling into the office this morning, I met Barr. Rose at the corridoor. Before I could greet her, she gave me a funny look and said:”Counsel, you left your garage open.” I smiled crookedly and replied cheerily: “I neither own a house, nor a car. So the question of a garage opened or closed doesn’t arise.” (I thought we were in a mood for riddles)She shrugged her shoulders and proceeded to the conference room. Yet again, I was to accompany her to Maitama High Court. Albeit I like her persona, I preferred to be with the Boss. Barr. Moses; who is elderly and has been practising for twenty nine years. He is More mature and patient. Atruly legal egghead.Well, as I sat in Barr Roses’ car, on our way to court,  suddenly I realized that in my haste, I had forgotten to zip up my troussers! My face turned red (but am still black). As she turned her head, while reversing her car, I quickly zipped up. When we stopped at the traffic lights, I casually asked: “My learned Senior, that garage I left open, did you by any chance see the Cadillac I parked in there?” Unsmilingly, she replied: “No, Counsel. I only saw a tricycle covered in cobwebs.”.Really!(Spoilsports)What a piece of work. Needless to say, I held my peace. One day though, she will discover that I don’t park (read:Pack) tricycles…She is an Ice Queen, that one. It will be a pleasure to see her melt one day…I didnt expect anything eventful happening in court till I saw the judge dressed in red and not in the traditional black paraphernalia. The Judge read one very long judgment for two long hours and sentenced an accused Lady Armed Robber with her gentleman accomplice to death. That was the first time I heard a death sentence being passed. While Barr. Ross was unperturbed,  I gasped aloud when the sentenced was passed. The judge retreated to her chambers and we took dates. Though the accused were armed robbers, and only God know how many people they had robbed, killed or maimed, still, it didn’t sound so right to hang them’by the neck till they so die’…Really the law is an ass…The lady armed robber looked so gently-she-can’t-hurt-a-fly-sque, holding a Bible and slumped when the sentenced was passed. On appeal, they may get the sentence commuted to life in lieu of death. .Barr Rose opined that I ‘wouldn’t feel any pity for the ‘criminals’ if I were unfortunate to endure their nefarious and dastardly deeds…’.Still, I believe in second chances…Back at the office, we had roasted corn and coconut. My first time eating the two together, but the combinash was to die for.
P.A.

Your comments/contributions are highly welcome.

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About williwash

A writer, a human rights activist, an adventurer and a poet.
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