Diary Of A Law-Loving Lawyer – Objection My Judge! By Pikono Ahrey.



I love Mondays. They make me spry.Due to the perennial traffic gridlock between my home and the office on weekdays, I always leave home by 5a.m.I hitch rides with my benevolent neighbours.(I will start saving to buy a car, by God’s grace).Normally, I reach the office by 6a.m. and have three hours bafore my colleagues’ arrival. We always have short meetings every mornings , whereupon, briefs would be assigned to each Counsel.Courts are on vacation, but questions gnawed in me:So everything stops until courts resume?What about those languishing in police cells and in prisons, awaiting trial? If justice is delayed, isn’t that justice denied?When I voiced my concern, I was told there is always a Vacation Judge sitting and dispensing justice.Today, I had to appear before one in Kubwa. So I went to the High court with Barr.Rose for mentoring. Barr. Rose is two years older than me at the Bar but she feels she owns me. Well, I put up with her supercillious airs now, but one day, I intend to put her in her place. On a side note, I find her attractive. She is curvy. She is dark.She is very confident.My type of woman. But I am yet to muster the gumption to ask her for lunch at Mr.Biggs…But a man must flex, na.Anyways, something happened in court today. Before our matter was called, a young female  lawyer who was obviously a ‘New Wig’ too (like moi) was in court to hear a ruling on a bail application her boss had made previously. Apparently she was on her own because there wasn’t much to be done in such scenerios but to just listen to the judge and say:”As the court pleases” after the ruling is read.(That much I know due to previous discussions in chambers). Well, in the course of the judge delivering his ruling, he laid very stringent conditions attached to granting the bail. He demanded three sureties who must have at least ten million Naira each in their bank accounts and must be property owners within the Abuja metropolis. Clearly, the ruling didn’t favour her client. Before he finished reading the ruling, she got up, frustration well-written on her face and yelled: “Objection My Judge!” The courtroom burst into an uproar with frenzied reactions by lawyers, litigants and other spectators. I barely managed to keep a straight face myself, (remember my own faux pas on Friday?). The judge hit his gavel and took five minutes to give my poor Learned Colleague an earful. I couldn’t tell if she was red in the face because she is also black. However, she composed herself with a sort of stoic dignity that belied her age. She apologized profusely, took a bow and left with her chin in the air… I almost applauded but Barr.Rose’s hard look froze the smile on my face.I can see it is going to be a long week, Diary. But a lawyer’s work is never done.
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