Wisdom: You know, some people compare Donald Trump with Adolf Hitler all the time. However, the major difference is: Hitler was good at making speeches. Also, I hear that the Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters so that Trump can’t tweet them one night(Laughs)
Abe: (Rolling his eyes) At least you can laugh at your own jokes.
Wisdom: Come on Ant Abe, don’t be such a spoilsport. Since Trump entered the arena of world politics, America and Twitter have not been the same.
Abe: (Grudgingly) Well, I guess you are right. But instead of talking about Trump, why not talk about our own President who has been on the outs for three months?
Wisdom: He is sick and on medical hiatus.His Vice President says Buhari is recuperating. Some governors went to visit him and you saw the photo ops na. He is human after-all. Thank God the government is functioning far better than when he was here.
Abe: Bunkum! Pictures can be photoshopped. Abi I lie, Ant Tambe?
Tambe: (Lighting his pipe)I hesitate to enter into this auditorium of ambiguity that goes against all reasons. We sit and vituperate and adumbrate on issues surrounding this fetid government reeking with odoriferous dishonesty and confusion. I’d rather sit on the fence and adroitly analyze more imperative vicissitudes that impact positively on my life without any adenoidal government policies.
Tambe: Chei, Professor Emeritus Ant Tambe!What did you just say?I had no inkling whatsoev–
Abe :(Snorts) Ant Tambe, the governors are falling all over themselves to pay Buhari a visit. Ironically, they are whining that they don’t have enough money in their coffers to pay salaries. I believe each governor spends nothing less than one hundred million naira on this jamboree they call presidential ‘sick visit.’
Wisdom: (Smirks) They should have included Gov.Fayose and Ex-minister Fani-Kayode in the entourage. At least that would give the visit a modicum of credibility. Ah, imagine how Fayose and Fani-kayode would greet and banter with Baba Buhari. On their way out they would tell him, Oga Bross, no hard feelings. No permanent friend of foe in politics.
Tambe: Have you noticed that these two rabble rousers’ names begin with the letter ‘F’?
Abe: (Quizzically) So?
Tambe: Foul, Fake, Forbidden,F-bomb,Fecundity, Fraudulent, Fart, Fascism –
Wisdom: So does Fair, Favour, Faith, Firebrand,First and Fit.
Abe: For the love of God! How is it possible to discuss a problem and find a solution if we do not stay focused? We were discussing national issues and you guys strayed to such nonsensical – Urgh. I am off. My wife is cooking yam for dinner and you two Ants are not invited.
Wisdom: Please, Ant Abe, no vex.
Tambe: Yam?Didnt I hear that your government is exporting yams now? Commodity we don’t have enough to go round, but we are exporting same.Typical. Sometimes, when I cogitate about how dim- witted–
(Wisdom and Abe groan)
Tabe: Ok, go and bask in your yam meal. All’s well that ends well.